This post is to clarify something about my last one, “WHEN A HEART HOLDS A DREAM”.

First and foremost, I wish to state that I was not seeking to offend anyone when I made that post, merely to set free something that has been within me for many years, due to deep retrospection of my life. But let me also state that I make no apologies whatsoever for setting free the words within my heart.

A recent comment to that post is the reason behind this one, for it left me feeling exactly as I instinctively knew I would if I spoke the truth of what has always been hidden deep inside of me…

In short, outcast…shunned…reviled…condemned…considered unfit and unworthy.

Ever since I can remember, I have been drawn to the occult. It is what my primary reading selection was, my viewing selection the few times in my life that I have owned a television, and remains so to this day.

And fantasy and the occult are what I primarily write about.

But I have hidden that fact deep within me due to the precise reaction I seemed to have generated, and more than likely will continue to generate, on my last post.

 I spent the first eleven years of my life being raised in a mormon environment, and only three times in that time did I ever view the four churches I attended with my mother during that time open the bible, thereby proving they are a false religion, for they base there teachings on the words of, by their own admission, a mere man, and a not very well educated one at that.

The bible itself is so full of half truths and contradictions as to be laughable, and those who practice christianity leave much to be desired in the following of it.

One of the primary things that I have noticed in the bible, what little I have read of it that I could stomach, combined with the fallacies that have been shoved down my throat my entire life by “six day sinners one days saints” is that the god mentioned in it seems to delight in torturing the very beings “he” supposedly created just in order to make them cry out for mercy to “him” or “he” “performs” “miracles” just to prove how great he is.

And “his” followers fall for those lies, that propaganda…all the while their lives are being played like gaming tokens, moved into this or that bad situation…all with the “promise” of a “home in paradise”….

That is if they bow down to him, worship him, give him all the credit.

But for those that don’t….ah, therein lies another story, for they are “destined” to “burn in hell”.

Hmmm, sort of makes one think of that saying “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, for none of us can foresee the future, so therefore cannot know from one mili-second to the next if we will even be alive in the next mili-second.

Which is precisely why I have, over the past ten years, begun to seriously question the so-called “right way” that has been shoved down my throat my entire life, and some of those questions, the major ones at least are…

If “god” is so loving and merciful to “his” followers, why then does one find so many places in the bible where he not only ALLOWS those very followers to suffer, but “he” himself CAUSES the majority of that suffering to serve “his” own purposes or hidden agenda’s?

Why is it that the only “miracles” mentioned were ones that would draw even more to believing his line of propaganda?

Why does the bible show so many cases of “him” causing either single people or entire cities, towns and populations to be wiped out just to prove a point…like in the “moses” story? (Man, you wanted to talk about twisted! “god” is clearly stated as “hardening Pharoah’s heart” not once, but multiple times, just to prove a point. Hell, if “he” had kept his selfish, egotistical fingers out of it, who knows, Pharoah might have caved the first time “moses” told him to release the captives…and saved who knows how many lives!)

why did “god” let jonah get swallowed by a whale? Answer…to prove a point…would you go that far, in all good conscience?

why does “he” cause those “he” calls mankind, the very creatures that “he” himself supposedly created, the ones that follow “him”, that is, to be tortured, maimed, or killed time after time after time for the very fact that they DO follow “him”, and yet “he” claims to be “merciful, loving, caring, and kind to those who follow “him”?

And I have saved the very best one for last… why did “he” allow the one who was supposedly “his” own SON to suffer untold humiliation, mockery, misery, torture and finally death…

Answer?…all to prove a point and to form a rallying point for furthering “his” brand of propaganda.

I have known I do not know how many so called “christians” who attended church faithfully and walked around lording it over “the sinners” like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth’s, but ah, the days they WEREN’T in church…THAT was a whole other story!

I have not set foot in a church nor opened a bible since the day seven years ago when I approached the minister of a church I had been attending for over six years for assistance and he, along with the two “deacons” who came with him “to uphold propriety” stood in my very home and literally laughed in my face and told me that the matter about which I had sought their aid was inconsequential, unimportant and not even worthy of their time.

Christian’s claim to be so very loving, tolerant, forgiving, and all that other BS, yet the followers of that religion have been responsible down through history for more madness, mayhem, destruction, maiming, torture and death than just about any other religion in history!

One of the primary commandments is that “thou shalt not kill”…well, they sure followed that one well, didn’t they, during the crusades, the Salem witch trials, and just about every other “holy” war they have waged on countries, peoples and places they tried to force feed their doctrines to!

Christians, in my opinion, spend their entire lives bowing and scraping to an amorphorous deity based on the “promise” that they will be rewarded.

For all intents and purposes, they are dancing around on their hind legs like a trained poodle focusing and straining upwards in the vain hope that if they dance hard enough and long enough, sooner or later “the master” will finally relent and grant them what they are seeking.

Their prayers and petitions move through the air like the dancing dog’s paws and they gyrated and jump in the hope of obtaining that “treat” that is always held just out of reach…

And more often than not they dance in vain, their prayers and petitions fall on deaf ears…and even, in some cases, their trials increase.

As I stated at the beginning of this post, a comment made on my last post, “WHEN A HEART HOLDS A DREAM”, was the reason for this one.

I also stated that I had no doubts that there is going to be a fallout over that post…

Well, I have an odd feeling it will be nothing compared to the reception this one will receive, but I make not one single apology for one single word I have said.

Aye, I was raised as a “christian”…and have, throughout my fifty three years on this miserable mud ball…had it proven over and over and over and over that those “promises” are nothing but a bunch of lies.

Well, I am through being lied to, I am fifty three, I do not know how much time I have left, but I will not spend however much that might be living a lie any longer.

I know I will, as I stated, more than likely receive a lot of negative criticism for this post, but I do not care…

All I ask is do not seek to shove any more lies down my throat.

And if any who read this ARE followers of the pagan way, I need a teacher.

Blessed be to any pagan readers and to all others the same

marantha jenelle




3 responses »

  1. Eric Swett says:

    Perhaps a bit harsh and a little heavy on the generalities, but there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind or being discouraged/angry/hurt. I hope you find peace in whatever path you take.

  2. pattisj says:

    You’ll do what you want, and you have free will to choose which path you will take. I’m praying you find the Truth, and be set free. The Bible isn’t about religion, it is about a relationship with a loving God, One Who shed His blood as a ransom for us. Until you’ve truly met Him, you won’t have a clue about the Bible’s teachings. Jesus loves you, this I know. I’m sorry to see you deceived and tormented so. Grace and Peace be unto you, in His Name.

    • patti, thank you for your understanding and for your comment. this is something that has been a long time coming. i am just sorry that i must disappoint you in that i will not change my mind.

      i will understand if you do not follow me any more and if you no longer wish contact with me, but i must be true to my own heart. i think i was born in the wrong time and place.

      be well.


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